Becoming a girl

I sit here at my computer at a ridiculous hour of the evening (2:22 AM). I am listening to a song I wrote a long time ago for someone. Even though it didn't work out in the end and I'm over the relationship, I still sit here with a tear rolling out of my eye. Just one tear though. I ask myself why. I honestly don't think it has anything to do with any relationship(s) I've had. For some reason tears just come out of my eyes. I am not crying, nor do I feel sad. This is a stupid problem to have!

What the heck is wrong with me? I don't care about anything anymore. I tell myself I'm happy, but I wonder if I really am. Besides recent events in life that have caused my road to go a different route, I haven't really had any traumatizing event happen to me.

Now I'm listening to another song that gives me chills every time I hear it. It is one of mine, but it is completely different from other songs I have written. It portrays a message that we all feel in life at some point.

keep your head up now pretty girl
life it wasn't meant to make you cry
if the sky could only feel the hurt
stars would fall from heaven like the rain

now we can't seem to understand
how it could go so fast
and how our worlds could crash
Now we can't seem to understand
how our worlds could crash
keep your head up girl it goes so fast

sigh a deep sigh pretty girl
a roll of your eyes and then your fine
You love him but he's confused your world
Starve the truth and go and feed him lies

Why does life crash us into things and then rip us away from them just as quickly? Why do I even care? I feel loved. Even though my girlfriend had to leave, I hold no feelings of anger or resentment toward her anymore (nor did I really, sometimes frustration, but nothing more). I still think she is great and an awesome friend. I just wish someone could figure out what the heck is wrong with me. Maybe after my vacation to Disneyland I will feel better. Who knows.